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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
its time you went big time hh

paperback,tv and the movie

we could have maxi and claudius as the bitchin sisters
all the trackday mansell wanabees as a visiting darts team

green issues,a war between the polishers and the mpg gang over cfc,s

all in a very imaginary world run by King EvoLADYboy


maybe Mouton returning to slay him could be the perfect finale ???
 
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Perhaps we could contribute a passage each to the book .
Put it in the Mlr mags as an issue episode ,make it into a sort of saga .
Any suggestions on location ?
More definition on characters.
HH6 as technical director to high flying mitsubishi motors.
Evoboy as the sun tanned ,rayban shaded sales exectutive.[lovely lovely chebs]
Michael K on customer service desk, [your car is a bag of shite and mine is faster than yours]
Claudius as a beamer driving hair dresser ponce.
Maxi as claudius's side kick ,bit of a joe pesci type.
Blade ,senior test pilot for modded Evo's but just loves claudius's beamer.
Anarchist as the **** stirring office boy.
Debs as the office tart ,legs up to the ceiling so all can see her beaver.bends over alot,and chats to the senior mechanic with legs up on the ramp.Who wants to be the mechanic?
Darins trousers used as the starting flag at all track days.

This is ,in no way a judge of peoples character and just a bit of a laugh .
 
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Shorty you arse!
You will get me into trouble. I started laughing out loud when I read this a work, people wondered what I was doing http://194.93.140.171/graphics/biggrin1.gif border|EQU| 0 align|EQU| absmiddle >

You have missed out the vital character of.....

Shorty - The wee bloke from Glasgow who escaped from a lunatic aslyum by drilling a hole through the wall with his head. He is chief mechanic (everyone calls him 'Spanners') and swaps Evo engines by hand...I mean he doesn't use an engine crane just throws them in like tossing a caber. Picture Desperate Dan but half the height [img]http://194.93.140.171/graphics/wink1.gif border|EQU| 0 align|EQU| absmiddle >
He is always arguing that 'all Evo's since ta we E3 is fir sasernack soft southern nonces' and Claudius is always trying to look up his kilt.
 
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Yep, Shorty was definetely missing in this blockbuster. I'd see him more like an aggressive Murdock (A-Team).
 
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
http://194.93.140.171/graphics/biggrin1.gif border|EQU| 0 align|EQU| absmiddle >

I left me self out so at least I can be ridiculed as well .
I have a few other characters to add to Pluto's block buster.
Sk_evo4 is Evoboys 6 yr old son .Evoboys favorite phrase is go and ask yr fkin mother,as I'm fed up with answering silly questions on wiper blades.
dedeffa,office computer wizz kid ,if your gonna send an e-mail send 3 .3. 3 times. taken from current repeat thread.
scooby mike . THe reader always quoting 0-60 from an always carried autosport from 1972.
Siko .his twin brother who doesn't beleive in mag s bollx write ups totally the opposite of scoobymike.
I thought I might play a local traffic cop ,AAAHHHH !!! sorry !don't really want a kick in the groin .
 
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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
By the way being ever so slightly serious for a moment has anyone got any drawing/cartooning skills? I bet this would make a good inside back page of Wastegate Chatter. Anyone?
We could call it 'Dealershit' (although I doubt that would get by the censors), I am good at colouring in if someone wants to draw it
 
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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
easy,
find a picture of one sheep,
photocopy 927 times !

cant write any more,im on the other line to Roman P
 
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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I think 'Dealershit' would be a great title with Mitsubishi at the forefront.Now they can't complain about which dealershit can they?
Come on I need a few more character assasinations of myself ,so I can refer back to my shrink what others perception is of me.http://194.93.140.171/graphics/happy1.gif border|EQU| 0 align|EQU| absmiddle >
And not too mant works beginning with W ,B, C,or FW ,FP.I can only take so much ,untill my eyes glaze over.I get enough of those from the ex missus.
 
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Guys you left me out!,
can i be the customer who keeps bringing his car back for warranty work http://194.93.140.171/graphics/biggrin1.gif border|EQU| 0 align|EQU| absmiddle >
eventually the frustration gets to much and i pull up in a scooby(yeh rite) and blow the place up in true Arnie fashion [img]http://194.93.140.171/graphics/biggrin1.gif border|EQU| 0 align|EQU| absmiddle > [img]http://194.93.140.171/graphics/biggrin1.gif border|EQU| 0 align|EQU| absmiddle >
 
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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
I forgot to mention the empty bottles of Buckfast that litter Shorty's workshop http://194.93.140.171/graphics/wink1.gif border|EQU| 0 align|EQU| absmiddle >

C2GSR,
You can be the spotty 13 year old kid that does the valeting. I can picture you standing on the bonnet with hobnail boots washing the roof with a scouring pad.
'oi, I want that car as shiney as the glaze on Shorty's eyes!'
 
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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
I should think that half the board could be irrate customers over the last year or so.

Michael ,
Wrench my nuts with a spanner that doesn't fit.

I guess being the works cheif mechanic ,I wake up most mornings still in the pit ,stinking of booze ,with my trousers around my ankles ,and totally can't remember what went on .
Me ! alone in the dark with a 4 inch tail pipe ,glistening in the half light.Just having taken Viagra .
Spanners could be a fitting name.OOhhh! do you know what ? I really hate getting my finger nails dirty.You saucy boyz.
 
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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
maybe a cameo appearance from Tommi struggling to reverse park his Lancer 1.5GL in a parking space 13 feet wide?
 
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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
....I think him hitting a kerb and shagging the wheel/suspension just 2 minutes after leaving the 'Dealershit' would be more apt
 
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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Yep ,one of the main selling point of the dealershit would be a NON claiming warrenty.which includes all parts
apart from indicator arms .Who the fk uses it .pointless having it in the cockpit ,so might as well warrenty it.

List of accessories available from the dealershit for your new EVo
Crash helmet,and incar video recorder.and a scooby ,buy one get scooby free.
 
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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Don't forget the warped disks Shorty:

Customer: My front disks are warped can you skim them for me?
Shorty: Nay problem guv, give me ta disks an' I will sort ya oot.
Customer: OK here you go (hands them over). How long will it take?
Shorty: aboot 5 minutes
Customer: Christ thats quick!
Shorty: Aye it dunna take long, come back in a bit.

5 minutes later....

Customer: I have come to get my disks, are they done?
Shorty: Aye here ya goo
Customer: BUT THEY ARE EXACTLY THE SAME AS WHEN I BROUGHT THEM IN!
Shorty: Aye I know, hand over ya wallet as that is wot we skim not the disks!
 
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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
HH6 .

http://194.93.140.171/graphics/biggrin1.gif border|EQU| 0 align|EQU| absmiddle >.
I have just spent the week end with the relatives from Stranraer ,Dictionary in hand.
We may have another new member shortly as my cousins good friend has an E6,passed on the details for the MLR,doing my representative duties .
Evo world getting bigger.
Pished off with working today.
 
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