Lancer Register Forum banner

1 - 20 of 29 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,877 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I have to sort a best mans speach for Saturday. Ive not even started :rolleyes:

Anyone any good at this- :angel:

Why did I say yes :confused: ;) :cry:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
151 Posts
Top tip = keep it short. No one wants to listen to a 20 min ramble.
throw in a couple of jokes, they don't even need to be true if you're struggling for something. Props can be good and photos of the groom as a baby/young boy always proove a good laugh.

you probably won't enjoy the meal. Good luck

Chris
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,877 Posts
Discussion Starter #3
Saintsman said:
Top tip = keep it short. No one wants to listen to a 20 min ramble.
throw in a couple of jokes, they don't even need to be true if you're struggling for something. Props can be good and photos of the groom as a baby/young boy always proove a good laugh.

you probably won't enjoy the meal. Good luck

Chris
I'm a banker & feel my sense of humour is seriously lacking :D ;)

May just be to do with pressure of coming up with a top speach :rolleyes:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
297 Posts
It's great fun!

I turned down being a best man years ago cos I was worried about doing a speech. I got asked again 2 years ago and I did it!

It is honestly not anything like as scary as you think! Guests will laugh at ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING in a bessie man speech, honest!

I just talked bo11ox for about 3 minutes and sat down.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,877 Posts
Discussion Starter #8
Saintsman said:
Stuart,

Do you want me to PM you some bits of my speech. Might give you a few ideas.

Chris
If you wish mate- it may come in useful ;)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,164 Posts
Mate, I did one a couple of month ago and it was the fukkin nuts. I was all concerned till I got going (with two professional video cameras on me :eek: :eek: ) and everything just went so well.

Gotta admit I did refer to a couple of books beforehand and that did help but the best thing I did was stand up at the beginning of the speech and toasted every fukker I could think of, taking a healthy sip of Guinness with every toast (joined in this by the Wedding Party of course). After doing this for about 10 mins I was well on the way to being pi55ed as were the rest of the party and all went swimmingly from there. Try it mate, get em pi55ed and they'll laff their ****** t1t5 off :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,877 Posts
Discussion Starter #11
wombat231170 said:
Mate, I did one a couple of month ago and it was the fukkin nuts. I was all concerned till I got going (with two professional video cameras on me :eek: :eek: ) and everything just went so well.

Gotta admit I did refer to a couple of books beforehand and that did help but the best thing I did was stand up at the beginning of the speech and toasted every fukker I could think of, taking a healthy sip of Guinness with every toast (joined in this by the Wedding Party of course). After doing this for about 10 mins I was well on the way to being pi55ed as were the rest of the party and all went swimmingly from there. Try it mate, get em pi55ed and they'll laff their ****** t1t5 off :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:
Problem is, the speaches are before the meal which means nobody will be pi55ed :rolleyes:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,300 Posts
It helps if the person you are speaking about is actually interesting :D

I know a couple of folk who would be a nightmare to think of something funny they did in their life :D:D
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,877 Posts
Discussion Starter #14
Reims said:
It helps if the person you are speaking about is actually interesting :D

I know a couple of folk who would be a nightmare to think of something funny they did in their life :D:D
We'll I'm there with this person.- Not exactly Mr Charisma :D
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
18,120 Posts
Reims said:
It helps if the person you are speaking about is actually interesting :D

I know a couple of folk who would be a nightmare to think of something funny they did in their life :D:D
Just tell outrageous lies about the groom and maybe make a joke out of the bride. Something on the lines of X always wanted a necklace made out of dinosaur's teeth - well I can't provide that but I'm sure Y (the groom) will be able to give her a pearl necklace later on tonight.. depends on the crowd of course and how p!ssed they are (and you) ;)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,164 Posts
I used two books,
The Best Best Man, and
How to be a Best Man

Spend a tenner or nip to the library and take a peek. They include sections on boring people, bankers(though thats the same :D ), and any other group to which he may belong :D :D :D

If all else fails, stand up, get your cokk out and sing the national anthem whilst 'dobbing' it in the wedding cake. It might not be expected but everyone will remember it til they die :crackup:
 

·
Moderator
Joined
·
12,904 Posts
I have mine i wrote for my brothers wedding here, i'll out line it for you...

i think an introduction is worthwhile (Pause)... for those that dont know me, my name is Rob what would you like to drink. i hope as many of you will come and say hello at the bar later - but I do insist you use my full name.

When I started writing this speach, I searched the internet and books to get as many ideas as possible. one thing they all mentioned was that the best mans speach should last about as long as the wedding night numptials, thank you and goodnight. (sit down, get back up)

Seriously folks, I believe that the best mans job consists of 2 tasks:

the first task is to look after the groom in the days preceeding the wedding. If the first task is completed succesfully the best man is rewarded with a second task 1 minute in which to assasinate the groom's charictor and reveal some of the embarrassing things the groom has managed to get away with in his batchalor years. As you can see my first task went wonderfully, Col is here, he's resonably sober and pretty much intact without any worrying rashes.

And so I come to my second task 'assassination time'

(you can do your own thing here)

Now lets move on to some history of whomever and whomever..

(i just told how they met etc etc)

Wish the happy couple well

there are not many best men who can describe both the groom and the bride as true friends, but in that i'm lucky. it is an honour, albeit a most terrifying one, to have been asked to be best man here today. Though I do feel a certain relief to see the end of my duties in sight, as im totally certain that Colin will never need to ask me to be best man again.

the final toast..

And so with the important bits of the day settled, all thats left to do is offer a toast. Colin and clare, you're among friends who want the very best for you both and we wish you all the happiness in the world. So heres to you, heres to your future and heres to the best thing you ever did!
Congratulations and in the words of an old irish toast, may you know nothing but happiness from this day forward and may all your ups and downs be in bed. :D

I just typed it out quickly, I took out some personal bits like when they met and me assassinating my brother but apart from that its the whole thing.

Good luck, few beers and it becomes less of a stress. :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,877 Posts
Discussion Starter #20
Cryptwalk said:
I have mine i wrote for my brothers wedding here, i'll out line it for you...

i think an introduction is worthwhile (Pause)... for those that dont know me, my name is Rob what would you like to drink. i hope as many of you will come and say hello at the bar later - but I do insist you use my full name.

When I started writing this speach, I searched the internet and books to get as many ideas as possible. one thing they all mentioned was that the best mans speach should last about as long as the wedding night numptials, thank you and goodnight. (sit down, get back up)

Seriously folks, I believe that the best mans job consists of 2 tasks:

the first task is to look after the groom in the days preceeding the wedding. If the first task is completed succesfully the best man is rewarded with a second task 1 minute in which to assasinate the groom's charictor and reveal some of the embarrassing things the groom has managed to get away with in his batchalor years. As you can see my first task went wonderfully, Col is here, he's resonably sober and pretty much intact without any worrying rashes.

And so I come to my second task 'assassination time'

(you can do your own thing here)

Now lets move on to some history of whomever and whomever..

(i just told how they met etc etc)

Wish the happy couple well

there are not many best men who can describe both the groom and the bride as true friends, but in that i'm lucky. it is an honour, albeit a most terrifying one, to have been asked to be best man here today. Though I do feel a certain relief to see the end of my duties in sight, as im totally certain that Colin will never need to ask me to be best man again.

the final toast..

And so with the important bits of the day settled, all thats left to do is offer a toast. Colin and clare, you're among friends who want the very best for you both and we wish you all the happiness in the world. So heres to you, heres to your future and heres to the best thing you ever did!
Congratulations and in the words of an old irish toast, may you know nothing but happiness from this day forward and may all your ups and downs be in bed. :D

I just typed it out quickly, I took out some personal bits like when they met and me assassinating my brother but apart from that its the whole thing.

Good luck, few beers and it becomes less of a stress. :)
Rob, thanks mate.

I'm going to try & sort it tomorrow ;)

need more than a few beers :blah:
 
1 - 20 of 29 Posts
Top