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Old 16-10-2007, 21:05   #1
evo 4 me
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Anybody Have An Autistic Child ?

i have a 5 year old son who is autistic and wondered if anybody on hear has a child in a similar position ?
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Old 16-10-2007, 21:24   #2
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My mother works for barnardos,

She looks after three different autistic children one night each during the week to give the parents a bit of a break.

The parents have nothing but praise for the work she and others do.

I'm not saying I have personal experience of this, it's just what i've seen when I vist and been told by her.

The kids are brilliant, so much joy for life.
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Old 16-10-2007, 21:50   #3
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Quote:
Originally posted by jhfozzy
My mother works for barnardos,

She looks after three different autistic children one night each during the week to give the parents a bit of a break.

The parents have nothing but praise for the work she and others do.

I'm not saying I have personal experience of this, it's just what i've seen when I vist and been told by her.

The kids are brilliant, so much joy for life.
i think its great that there are people out there like your mum who are willing to do things like that for children and there familys.
we have someone who takes are 2 year old daughter for a few hours a week to give us a break and it makes all the differance but that will stop at christmas as she will be going to nursery.only problem is my partner is due to give birth in 3 weeks so we will still have are hands full.i think its time for the snip
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Old 16-10-2007, 21:56   #4
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Good luck with the birth.

One of my mates is due in november, it's her first and she's bricking it.

Not taken that step yet, but I did promise the missus that when we had got my baby (the EVO) that she could have hers.
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Old 16-10-2007, 23:00   #5
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Re: Anybody Have An Autistic Child ?

Quote:
Originally posted by evo 4 me
i have a 5 year old son who is autistic and wondered if anybody on hear has a child in a similar position ?
We have two (adopted) boys and the older one has severe behavioural problems and displays many autistic characteristics. The younger one has severe communication difficulties and global developmental delay.

What p*sses me off is the almost total lack of support we have had from outside agencies over the years. One small example....in previous years a local programme of summer events/activities has been laid on for kids with special needs. Our boys have always enjoyed and looked forward to this because they are in a safe environment and are looked after by people experienced in managing their behaviour....its no good accessing activities for mainstream kids as our two wouldn't last 5 minutes in that kind of situation. It gave us some respite as well as knowing that they were being well looked after. Anyway this summer the whole programme disappeared without trace because some faceless committee has stopped the funding. I'll guarantee none of their kids have special needs.

evo 4 me very best of luck to you and your family.
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Old 17-10-2007, 00:15   #6
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Re: Re: Anybody Have An Autistic Child ?

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Originally posted by Freewheelin
We have two (adopted) boys and the older one has severe behavioural problems and displays many autistic characteristics. The younger one has severe communication difficulties and global developmental delay.

What p*sses me off is the almost total lack of support we have had from outside agencies over the years. One small example....in previous years a local programme of summer events/activities has been laid on for kids with special needs. Our boys have always enjoyed and looked forward to this because they are in a safe environment and are looked after by people experienced in managing their behaviour....its no good accessing activities for mainstream kids as our two wouldn't last 5 minutes in that kind of situation. It gave us some respite as well as knowing that they were being well looked after. Anyway this summer the whole programme disappeared without trace because some faceless committee has stopped the funding. I'll guarantee none of their kids have special needs.

evo 4 me very best of luck to you and your family.
thanks mate.
my son went to a club over the summer that was aimed at special needs kids and he loved it.it was organised and funded by the local banks and the council.the great thing was every child was assigned there very own carer for the day so you know they were getting full attention.the thing is that is once a year and the rest of the time there is nothing aimed at autistic kids and as you said they wouldnt last 5 mins in a club ect.we also have felt let down by the so called experts as for the last few years all they have done is assesmants but no actual help and they have just confirmed he is autistic which i worked out myself 3 years ago .also my son has a teacher that goes in to help him for 1 hour a day at school alongside the normal teacher which is no where near enough but we were told that because he hadnt been given a so called lable thats all he would get.now he has be given his autistic lable and we asked if the hours would go up we have been told that they wont review it now until the next financual year and that even if they say yes he wont get it until next september,and in the meantime he will fall even more behind at school.like you said i bet they havnt got kids with special needs.
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Old 17-10-2007, 09:36   #7
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Thats just awful both the stories.

I dont have any children myself, but when I was at school I worked in a care home that helped adults with things like downs syndrome and autism. I also did work experience in a local nursery where there was an autistic child, and for my design technology project I decided to design a playmat for children with disabilities. I did loads of research and the local nursery helped me test my design.

I feel for anybody with anyone with any form of disabilities in their family, the country doesnt provide anywhere near enough support (I've got insulin dependant diabetes and it shocked me how ill prepared my school was when I got diagnosed!)
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Old 17-10-2007, 15:31   #8
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My mum was a teacher for kids with learning/speech disabilities for 16 years, she took a promotion she had been offered 3 times previously and not accepted because she was so happy in her line of work. She's now the PT teacher and very knowledgeable in her line of work.

She goes well and beyond the call of duty. She texts and emails parents with advice in her own time, helping them with any problems they have (which is good because she's not very computer literate).

If you needed any advice or anything I could easily put you in touch.
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Old 17-10-2007, 15:57   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by jwfindlay
My mum was a teacher for kids with learning/speech disabilities for 16 years, she took a promotion she had been offered 3 times previously and not accepted because she was so happy in her line of work. She's now the PT teacher and very knowledgeable in her line of work.

She goes well and beyond the call of duty. She texts and emails parents with advice in her own time, helping them with any problems they have (which is good because she's not very computer literate).

If you needed any advice or anything I could easily put you in touch.
thanks for the offer mate
we had somone who would come around once a week to help with his speech and communication but when he turned 4 years old the funding stopped but the womon is great as she knows everything there is to know and we can still call her anytime we want for advice and even filling in forms ect
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Old 17-10-2007, 16:02   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by jhfozzy
Good luck with the birth.

One of my mates is due in november, it's her first and she's bricking it.

Not taken that step yet, but I did promise the missus that when we had got my baby (the EVO) that she could have hers.
So what car is she after!!!

m!

EV0 4 me- congrats on new child arrival, hope all goes smoothly.
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Old 17-10-2007, 16:40   #11
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Re: Re: Re: Anybody Have An Autistic Child ?

Quote:
Originally posted by evo 4 me
thanks mate.
my son went to a club over the summer that was aimed at special needs kids and he loved it.it was organised and funded by the local banks and the council.the great thing was every child was assigned there very own carer for the day so you know they were getting full attention.the thing is that is once a year and the rest of the time there is nothing aimed at autistic kids and as you said they wouldnt last 5 mins in a club ect.we also have felt let down by the so called experts as for the last few years all they have done is assesmants but no actual help and they have just confirmed he is autistic which i worked out myself 3 years ago .also my son has a teacher that goes in to help him for 1 hour a day at school alongside the normal teacher which is no where near enough but we were told that because he hadnt been given a so called lable thats all he would get.now he has be given his autistic lable and we asked if the hours would go up we have been told that they wont review it now until the next financual year and that even if they say yes he wont get it until next september,and in the meantime he will fall even more behind at school.like you said i bet they havnt got kids with special needs.
You need to put as much pressure on the local authority to provide your son with a statement of special needs....my experience is the school won't necessarliy push for it on your behalf although it is in their interest to in terms of extra funding. Keep badgering the school, the educational psychologist with responsibility for the school and the local authority special needs dept.

Both my sons went through mainstream primary school....they both had statements of special needs and more or less full-time support from a teacher's assistant and we still had to keep on at the school to monitor and assess their progress and attainment as they were getting further and further behind. We're both teachers which helps in knowing where they should be in terms of attainment.

My sons are 13 and 14 now. The younger one (as he was so far behind at 11) we applied for and got a place in a special school which specialises in children with communication dificulties. The school is brilliant and he has made significant progress since going there and far far more than he would have done if he had gone to a mainstream secondary school.

The older one went onto mainstream secondary school because (according to the school) he was not so far behind academically and it proved to be a huge mistake. He effectively wasted a year and a half (with temporary exclusions on a number of occasions) until he was permanently excluded....the school could not manage his behaviuor and consequently meet his needs and he could not deal with the organisation of a large secondary school. He was than out of school altogether for around 6 months whilst the local authority decided where he should go given there were no schools in our area which deal with kids with behavioual problems. This meant he would have to go to a residential private school (which is hugely expensive....roughly twice the cost of sending a child to Eton) and the decision to fund the place was made a pretty high level within the local authority so they could waste lots of time collecting evidence, preparing recommendations etc etc. It needed almost constant pressure to get them to make a decision and they finally agreed to fund the place. Again he has made terrific progress both academically and in terms of his behaviour since he has been there. We just regret ever sending him to mainstream secondary school and should have pushed for a place in this type of school at 11.

I suppose my point is that once your son's statement of special needs is in place you should look carefully at which type of school is most appropriate for your son. I don't know how severe his autism is but if it is significant my guess would be he should be in a special school. They are much more likely to be able to meet his needs and help him to progress than a mainstream school. My partner is a primary teacher in a special school and has autistic kids in her class....a class of 8 with 2 classroom assistants to support the kids as well, far different to a mainstream primary school class. She mentioned the other day an autistic girl in her class who will now play with other children in the playground although she would not interact at all when she first went to the school. I very much doubt she would have made this kind of progress if she had been in a mainstream school....it takes specialist knowledge and teaching methods to bring these children on and help them progress.

I would go and look round some special schools and get an idea of the kids there and how they compare with your son and see what sort of work/activities they are doing with the kids. Also (if you don't know this already) there will be an independent organisation locally to look after your son's interests and support you as parents. Its called "Parent Partnership" in our area but may be called something else in youer area. They are invaluable as they are independent from the local authority but are professionals who know the system and will have come across your son's situation many times before and can fight on your and your son's behalf to get his full entitlement. The local authority special needs dept will be able to put you in touch with them.

Good luck with sorting your son's statement out....pm me if you want any more info.
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Old 17-10-2007, 19:06   #12
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i can't say i'm that knowledgable on autism but my girlfriend works as a classroom assisstant and works closely with autistic twins aged four. during her holidays she arranges with the parents to take the kids to do various activities, swimming etc. i think this maybe easier to sort out than doing it through local councils as like has been said before they more than likely don't have children with disabilities.

i think many teachers and classroom assisstants would be happy to help out outside of school hours be it after school, weekends or holidays as they have a love of the work they do as jwfindlay said about his mum refusing promotion to stay with the kids.

best wishes and hope all goes well
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Old 17-10-2007, 20:25   #13
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Freewheelin.i think you have a good point about special needs schools and it may be better for my son in the long run.i would like him to stay at mainstream school but if he starts to fall too far behind or he doesnt get the extra hours he needs so much i think special needs school may be a good idea.thanks for your reply it has given us a few things to think about.
if you dont mind me asking from what age did you adopt your two boys and did you every have problems in taking them out shopping and general days out ect as it used to be very hard taking my son out.if we went to tesco ect he would often go into why i can only descibe as a sort of trance/fit and he would go all strange and flop on the floor and start sreaming and as you can imagine trying to then get him back to the car wasnt very nice with everybody in the store looking with disggust and even tutting at us and then the struggle of getting him into the car without damaging the evo,s doors on car next to us because some xxxxxx has parked in the dissabled bay because the cant be bothered to work more than 10 feet to the store.he is getting better now as i took him to his first car show a few weeks back at rallyday which he loved ,again we got some funny looks off people when he would shout out (silly man crashed) at any car that was being towed in from a smash .

thanks for you reply also matt_grundy
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Old 18-10-2007, 22:10   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by evo 4 me
Freewheelin.i think you have a good point about special needs schools and it may be better for my son in the long run.i would like him to stay at mainstream school but if he starts to fall too far behind or he doesnt get the extra hours he needs so much i think special needs school may be a good idea.thanks for your reply it has given us a few things to think about.
if you dont mind me asking from what age did you adopt your two boys and did you every have problems in taking them out shopping and general days out ect as it used to be very hard taking my son out.if we went to tesco ect he would often go into why i can only descibe as a sort of trance/fit and he would go all strange and flop on the floor and start sreaming and as you can imagine trying to then get him back to the car wasnt very nice with everybody in the store looking with disggust and even tutting at us and then the struggle of getting him into the car without damaging the evo,s doors on car next to us because some xxxxxx has parked in the dissabled bay because the cant be bothered to work more than 10 feet to the store.he is getting better now as i took him to his first car show a few weeks back at rallyday which he loved ,again we got some funny looks off people when he would shout out (silly man crashed) at any car that was being towed in from a smash .

thanks for you reply also matt_grundy

Hi mate

The boys were 5 and 6 when they came to live with us and were a complete nightmare at first. They weren't difficult in the way you describe your son's behaviour but they had had a dreadful early life (serious neglect) and then been in care. The younger one had no language at all you could understand, just a few sounds we knew had a meaning. He is still very diffficult to understand, especially to people who don't know him. The older one has been much more affected by his early life and has major behavioural issues as a result. He needs to control every situation in his life (I suspect because he had no control over his early life...being taken away from his parents, taken into care etc) and this leads to a lot of conflict between him and his brother. He has no real empathy and cannot read people's body language and see when they are getting angry and when he winds his brother up the situation escalates and if you're not careful gets out of control. Consequently one of us has to be with them all the time to intervene before this happens. The same applies when we go out as a family....you have to watch constantly what they are up to and intervene before it gets out of hand. Neither of them are detached from the real world in the autistic sense....its all about their relationship with each other. Thye are incredibly close (partly because of their early life and because they don't have any friends due to the older one's behaviour and the younger one's communication difficulties) but at the same time can't get on with each other, in the way much younger children sometimes can't because that's what the boys are developmentally. They look like teenagers but they are far from teenagers in their heads.

One upside is that it allows me to get to plenty of shows and take one of them with me. They both enjoy them, especially the older one who has an encyclopedic knowledge about cars. Occasionally I take both of them but I usually regret it about 10 minutes after I get there

Glad you both enjoyed Rally Day. We were there as well ....one of the best shows of the year
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Old 29-02-2008, 19:59   #15
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bttt for anybody in the same position who didnt see the thread last time.
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