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I am the happiest man alive

6K views 46 replies 25 participants last post by  TangoDeltaSierra3 
#1 · (Edited)
#11 ·
:lol: Oh I sure am a extremely happy man mate. The missus will be using the evo as she only does 15 miles or so a day monday to friday and as I'm in the army and based down south and she lives in Stoke, I will be coming back at weekends and 200 miles one way would be to much. 400 miles round trip :eek: so she is having that come january.
That leaves me with her punto :lol:
 
#13 ·
Cant say it enough, thanks for all the comments you are all putting up.

Just a thought, its something that I have thought of and really like the idea of, how many of the male members on here has a male engagement ring?

My missus is getting me one and I really like the idea of it.
 
#18 · (Edited)
Thanks and she sure is :lol:

Well it was her that asked me, just came straight out with it, it was no were special or anything and the next day we were looking at engagement rings. I could never of said no to her, she is so sweet and lovely, I lover her with all my heart.
So when we have both found the perfect ring I will be taking her out on a romantic evening and then propose to her as well.
 
#19 ·
congrats mate.
im engaged too,well i got her a nice engagement ring about 4 years ago and we have still not sorted out the actual wedding yet:mhihi::D
she keeps on nagging me about it.Well after being together almost 10 years i suppose i should start at least thinking about it!!:D:lol:
 
#24 ·
I just cant wait for the big day, I've already got the money for the engagement ring its just a case of which one she wants.

Dunc, get married :lol: even I would be nagging myself about it after that long mate.

Thank you all again for the comments, when I show the missus she will appreciate it.
 
#29 ·
Congratulations mate
Me and the missus got married 3 years ago now, we had a small family only wedding and then spent loads on the honeymoon
Only thing we regret is not getting a proffesional photographer. We didn't see the point in spending loads on the wedding as it was for us at the end of the day but the honeymoon was awesome:D
 
#41 ·
You will need this.... :)

-----

Marriage Contract

I, the undersigned, a female accepting a marriage proposal,
agree that...

Section 1. In the unlikely event of my not having an orgasm
after you've drunkenly rolled on top of me and pumped away for
five *whole* minutes, wheezing like an old man with emphysema,
I shall politely fake one.

Section 1.01 And it'll be a really good act, too, with me saying
stuff like "So THIS is what hot monkey love is all about!" and
howling like a cat that's being repeatedly jabbed with a pin.

Section 1.02 I will never ask for more *foreplay*.

Section 2. I fully understand that a woman's main role in any
relationship is to take the blame. So when you stub your toe
in the bathroom or your football team loses, I agree that by
some complex scientific equation incomprehensible to woman, it
will be my fault. Even if I wasn't there.

Section 3. Whenever my friends and I get together for a girl's
night out, I will tell them that you are better hung than a
large-balled Himalayan yak, and an elephant would jealous of
your genitalia.

Section 3.01 I shall mention *often* your sexual prowess and
longevity in the bedroom to my friends.

Section 3.02 And I will also mention this to YOUR friends-a lot.

Section 4. After sex (which I will NEVER refer to as "making
love"), I will not expect you to cuddle me for hours till your
arm goes dead. Nor will I let my hair annoyingly get in your
face.

Section 4.01 I will never, ever give your penis a "cute" name.

Section 5. In bed, I will be as keen as mustard to try any novel
sexual position you fancy. Especially ones where I do all the
work and you just lie there, grinning.

Section 5.01 I will ruthlessly interrogate my attractive female
friends and inform you if any of them have the slightest
bi-sexual tendencies. Then I'll invite them around for dinner.
And hide their car keys so they have to stay.

Section 5.02 I promise to work out at the gym for two hours a
day in order to keep my body sexually desirable to you, even
though your intake of beer may cause your gut to swell to
proportions of a nine-month pregnancy.

Section 5.03 I promise never to bring up your hair loss and the
fact that a baby's butt and/or honeydew melon is somewhat
similar.

Section 5.04 I promise to shave every *possible* inch of my
body, and will always love your *weekend* beard.

Section 6. After we split up, I will never sleep with any of
your friends or colleagues. Or anyone else you have ever met.
Or may one day meet. And if men attempt to talk to me, I will
solemnly inform them that you have "ruined me for other men."

Section 6. I understand that mechanical objects like cars,
computer games, and remote control devices are beyond the
comprehension of women. I will only make a fool of myself if I
attempt to operate them, so you're in charge of anything
*mechanical*.

Section 6.01 With the exception of the following household
items: iron, washing machine and dryer, stove, refrigerator,
garbage disposal, garbage can, vacuum cleaner, diapers and
toilets.

Being of sound mind and body, I enter this relationship
contract.

Signed ____________________________________ (female)
 
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